McSweeney’s Internet Tendency
Alternatives to Girl Math with Bobbie Armstrong (October 2023)
Reasons Your Dog is a Better Health Care Provider Than Your Doctor with Bobbie Armstrong (May 2023)
Are You a Parent of a Toddler or an Assistant to a Male CEO of a Tech Startup? (November 2022)
Other Quotes GOP Congressmen Wrongly Attributed to Philosophers with Bobbie Armstrong and Lauren Patetta (February 2022)
Welcome to the Tortured Artists Writers’ Residency (May 2021)
Advertising Clients: What They Say vs. What They Mean with Bobbie Armstrong (November 2021)
Federal Holidays Are Not for Preserving Democracy. They’re for Celebrating Perpetrators of Genocide. (October 2019)
I’m the Kind of Person Who Knows When to Pick Her Battles (September 2019)
How to Train a Feral Dog Or How to Correct a Male Colleague? (May 2019)
I’m Vaccinating My Child the Natural Way– With Measles (March 2019)
The Belladonna Comedy
Sci-Fi Movies Inspired By Life on Earth as a Human Woman (August 2022)
Drunk-Logic Problems (September 2021)
Critics Review My One-Woman Show, ‘Working From Home’ (April 2020)
Interview Questions for Your Unofficial Role as Office Emotional Support Woman (October 2019)
Classic Bedtime Stories for Politicians Who Can’t Sleep at Night (June 2019)
Weekly Humorist
The Whole Purpose of “Females” at different life stages, According to JD Vance (August 2024)
When Trump Told People They’d Never Have to Work Again, He Wasn’t Threatening Democracy. He was Working Out Material for a Tight 5 at the Copa with Bobbie Armstrong (July 2024)
Are You Staying at “Clyde’s Rustic Farmhouse Escape” AirBnB or Trapped in an Escape Room? (January 2024)
Lesser-Known Quitting Styles (October 2022)
Feminist Anthems Rewritten to Accurately Promote Multi-Level Marketing Schemes (July 2022), featured on Weekly Humorist Best of 2022 List
We’re Doing Nothing Effective to Reduce Crime, COVID, or Homelessness, but Here Are Three F**King Obvious Tips for Surviving a Nuclear Attack with Bobbie Armstrong (July 2022)
Little Old Lady Comedy
Satan Regrets to Inform You That You are not a Good Fit for the Role of Hell’s Social Media Manager (May 2023)
Signs That Spring Has Sprung In New York (March 2022)
The Secret to Glowing, Youthful Skin in 18 Simple Steps Along the River Styx (May 2021)
More Advice for Fathers on ‘The Boyfriend’ From Governor Andrew Cuomo (June 2020)
Robot Butt
Ivanka Trump: What’s in My Bag of Lies? (September 2020)
Greener Pastures
Medium
New Zoom Features for Phase ??? of the Pandemic (March 2021)
More Coming Soon!